I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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