so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
