I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize