there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
