is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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