So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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