32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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