Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
