After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
