And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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