I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize