He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
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it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
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My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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