No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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