Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
