this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize