how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
