u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize