there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
