So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize