just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
