When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
