yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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