So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
