he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
