i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
