would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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