Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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