I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
