Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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