When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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