this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
