Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
