he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
