it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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