I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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