that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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