Cold hands, warm shart.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
