Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
