Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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