The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
