what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
where are my eyebrows?
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