I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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