Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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