yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
