Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
