And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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