apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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