hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
This is classic penis vs brain.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
