great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
