Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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