K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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