how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
