Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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