I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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