I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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