It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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