I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
