jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
