Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
