I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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