I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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