i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
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I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
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Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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