you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
