If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
