dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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