It's like God shit irony all over that family
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
