i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
