I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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