new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
