Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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